Seven years later and I’ve found what happened laid out in neat black and white. If only it could fix everything too….
There is a very particular set of dynamics that is among my favorites. It’s an entirely negative-dynamic set, and it is defined by three main things. First, the constrict is suffering. Second, the principal is being horrible and what they’re doing is absolutely wrong. Third, there is a context in which the constrict’s answer to the question ‘is this what you want?’ is ‘yes’, because they are gaining a benefit from the situation that, for them, is enough for this.
This set can be subdivided into three categories, each of which has its own defining factors:
1) The principal creates the choice
The set up for this is a situation in which the constrict has a choice between alternatives, and they pick an alternative that involves their suffering because the other alternatives are, to them, worse. (So, the benefit of their suffering is, ‘these other things do not happen’). It…
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Paper knives were commonly found on many desks during the Regency. Paper knives were not the same as pen knives, nor were they made for the purpose of opening letters. However, they would become the inspiration for letter openers in the decades which followed the Regency, in the years after the use of adhesive envelopes had become widespread. But during the Regency, paper knives were still just paper knives, a desk accessory which had been developed for a very specific purpose.
The point, or lack thereof, of the paper knife …
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I’ve decided I’m glad I developed fibromyalgia when I did. Here’s why. If I had developed it sooner, I would have dropped out of college earlier and never would have found the major I truly am meant for; cultural anthropology. Really, I’ve been an armchair anthropologist since elementary school. And I never would have discovered the foreign language that truly clicks in my head, Chinese. I’m no prodigy by any means, but I actually do well, as opposed to my stint with German. :shudders:
I’m glad, grateful even, because now I know what I really want to study. Something that hindered me for quite a while. So if, when, I do go back, I know exactly where I’m headed. For now, its just dealing with the homesick-esque schoolsickness.
Linked from Chronically Awesome Bloggers Facebook Page
Original source Fibro-Lupies
“Hi, it’s Anney from Fibro-Lupies! I just wanted to share an experience that I had that many of us have had to deal with in today’s society. Feel free to share this story and help raise awareness for those of us living with invisible diseases. Here is a letter that I wrote to Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Stores about my humiliating experience in one of their stores:
The morning comes. Today isn’t a great day, but it isn’t the worst day either. No, today my pain is more under control. As I arise from my sleep I am immediately welcomed by muscles that contract, as if being attacked. My joints are swollen and don’t want me to use them. I don’t oblige. If I can just get my meds on board and my body to start moving, maybe (just maybe) I can leave the house today.
Success! My body is letting me move with a moderate amount of pain. I still can’t dry myself off from my shower and I need help getting dressed and drying my hair, but I can go to Church! While there, I was even able to kneel (while sitting on the pew at the same time). I thanked the Lord for the ability to worship Him in His house. Today, I was blessed. Today, I even felt up for running errands with my good friends after mass.
I am disabled. I am sick. I will never live a “normal” life. I will never enjoy a morning run again. I won’t be able to chase my niece and nephew or go play soccer. I can’t travel easily, which squashes all of the adventures that I wanted to go on. I won’t be reliable to enjoy volunteering, as I never know how I’m going to feel day to day. I even may not enjoy the rewards of Motherhood. Those are just some of the things that I can’t do. What CAN I do? I can give my waking time to my friends and family. I can listen and support them. We can visit and enrich one-another’s lives. I can support all of my followers on my Facebook page, Fibro-Lupies. Do you know what else I can do? Even with all of the hospitalization s, surgeries and doctor’s visits, and providing my body is letting me do so, I can create. I can create scrapbooks, painted woods, sketches, framing, fabric covered bulletin boards and many, many other things. Crafting is not just a hobby for me. Crafting is my therapy. It keeps me sane in the midst of such a long list of debilitating diseases and conditions. It reminds me that there are still things that I can do, even if only for 15 minutes. I love to create.
Now, imagine my shock when my top choice of stores became a store that I will no longer be a patron of. A store that gave me access to everything that my mind could think of to create with. A store that I went to at least twice a month and spent hundreds of dollars in annually. That store is JoAnn Fabric and Craft Store # 2079 at 16800 W. Bluemound Rd. in Brookfield, WI 53005-5918.
My friends and I had finished finding everything that we needed for our projects and went to check out. There is a counter that has the disability logo on it and I get in line. Immediately the cashier (Pat), in a callus and judgmental tone of voice and disgruntled facial expression, told me that I had to get in the main line. I then stated that I’m disabled and that I got in that particular line because of the handicap logo. She then looked me up and down and told me that it was obvious that I wasn’t disabled and that they stopped using that line as a line for the disabled anyhow. I asked why the sign was still there and she had no response. I then told her that if she’d like, my friend would go get the disability placard from my car to prove that I was disabled. Pat said that didn’t matter because I’m not in a wheelchair. I told her that you didn’t have to be in a wheelchair to be disabled. She then looked me up and down (again) and stated that I could stand there and that she’d be with me as soon as the spot where I would have been in line comes up and that she’d help me then. I then told her that the whole point of the matter is that it’s difficult for me to stand for a long period of time and that I had just spent 15 minutes getting the materials that I needed. Then, in the rudest fashion imaginable, she told me that I could just go get the wheelchair by the door and then get in line. There were 2 customers already in that line that looked at me with just as much judgment and disdain, but most were just staring at Pat. One customer, after checking out in the main line, came back in the store just to give me a hug and tell me that she was appalled at the treatment that I was receiving. That hug helped me gather the strength to talk to a manager and discontinue my conversation with Pat.
As I walked away, Pat was announcing her viewpoint to everyone in line. I had had enough. Another associate was passing by and I gave her all of my items and told her that I will never shop at that store again. My friend then asked for the manager, Venisha. I explained to Venisha what happened, adding that Pat was also discussing me with other customers while I was right there and that she has made a Michael’s customer out of me. Then, in a completely emotionless reply, Venisha said that she would talk to Pat. That’s it. She’d talk to Pat. I kept explaining myself, trying to prompt her to try to win my business back. It didn’t happen. Now, I’m still waiting for a district manager to call me back to discuss this further.
There are thousands upon thousands of people in our nation that share an “invisible disease” like I do. They are called invisible diseases because there is not, visibly, a disability. Diseases that fall into this category, for example, are Lupus, Chrohn’s Disease, PTSD, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Diabetes, MS, Arthritis, Cancer, Liver Disease, Fibromyalgia, and Porphyria. I have 3 of those. We are constantly judged and discriminated upon because people tend to judge what they don’t understand. Ignorance, however, is not an excuse. We that are plagued by these diseases deserve compassion, understanding, and respect. We DO NOT deserve to be humiliated, judged or discriminated upon. Unfortunately, the latter was my experience at Joann’s. My question is simply this: What, corporate Joann’s, are YOU going to do about this so that it never happens in any of your stores ever again?
“Dear Red States: We’re ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we’ve decided we’re leaving. We in New York intend to form our own country and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A). To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal, Todd Akin, HoneyBooBoo and her pig Glitzy. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Opryland. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard (Princeton, Penn, Haverford, Colgate, U of R). You get Ole’ Miss. We get 85% of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of America’s quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61% believe they are people with higher morals then lefties. Sincerely, Citizen of the Enlightened States of America