6 Days. 14 Hours. 50 Minutes.

As I start this blog at 9:10 pm EST that is how much time remains until I walk down the aisle to say “I do.” Though I want to say just one thing. That when I marry, his family will not become mine. I will not adopt them, not even grudgingly. I have been physically and verbally abused growing up. There have also been some exceptionally ugly, nasty bits in there that other people have done to me. THAT being said, this family has managed to hurt me and insult me the most I have ever been in my entire life. I say this seriously and with a straight face. I said it months ago when they, under the premise of a peaceful, respectful “talk”, verbally attacked and insulted me. I actually cried in front of them because of the things they said and I view crying as a sign of weakness, not to be viewed by anyone, ESPECIALLY the people who have hurt you. They told me I was giving in, rolling over to fibro, that I was creating a disability in my head, and that since I enjoy BDSM, that if I could channel my [masochistic] sexual energy, then I won’t be in as much pain and might even get some enjoyment out of it.

You may be asking, where was your fiance? He was sitting right next to me, combating everything they could say because I could not speak. And I was so astonished at the sexual energy comment that my jaw literally dropped. I felt it and it stayed there. Your next question, why in god’s name do they know about your sexual lifestyle? I myself, quite frankly am not too sure at times. I do know they live BDSM too, because, well, my future mother in law told me. There are things that are known about me that shouldn’t be known, and things I don’t want to know. But I guess that’s what happens when you share a house with people and sex has never been off topic.

Anyway, this talk hurt me so badly I was flipping back and forth between bawling my eyes out and being murderously angry for over a week. I also lost all interest in food and drink. My fiance made me eat and drink. For which I am grateful. I have heard that not doing either is bad for ones health. He also hugged me, kissed me, held me and kissed the top of my head. He sheltered me from them and further defended my honor (NO ONE has done that before).

Now, one of the things thrown at me during the “talk” ( I even do air quotes when speaking of it) was that she [future MIL] was ready to cancel the bridal shower. That’s just wrong, and vicious.

But, I had the bridal shower. At the bridal shower, which was fairy themed, I unwittingly helped plan it. Before all this nonsense happened, future mil and I were planning her daughters baby shower. It was going to be a fairy tea, but her daughters mil said, nope just tea. So that what was had. Well, they recycled the fairy tea idea and used it on me. They used one excuse or another to say it was special to me. I smell a lie.

At this fairy tea (which I haven’t been into fairies since grade school, mind you) I was made to wear a flower wreath. It smelled horridly fake, itched and had ribbons hanging from it. Wasn’t fond of it but that’s not the point right now.

Guess where that damned thing is? It is hanging above the toilet. She added some fake red flowers, I guess to help disguise it, but I would recognize those flowers and ribbons anywhere.

Glad to see it was meaningful to all. It disappeared after the shower and I was never asked if I wanted it. Apparently she had other plans for it.

The crown for a special day is now the toilets crown.

I am glad it so easily transferable.

6 Days. 14 hours. 15 Minutes.


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